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Mars and Venus, a short story

Mars and Venus
The man and woman tended to study one another like biologists observing a newly discovered species, each assessing the other for signs of love. Unlike scientific investigators who embed high-tech monitoring chips or employ expensive telescopes, they relied on clandestine cues and glances. Sometimes, the signals were misread.
The man’s heart raced. She mate had licked her upper lip. She always did that when she thought about buying chocolate. And she always wanted dark chocolate after sex, so he foresaw pleasure in his future.
The woman surveyed the store’s candy selection. Here we are in the grocery store, and all he ever does is watch me push the cart. He could do the shopping; we could take turns. She picked up the bag of Dove brand chocolates. When we make love, I need three of these babies just to get the tobacco taste out of my mouth. God, I wish he’d quit smoking.
He caught the flick of her eyes in his direction, and he felt a rush of blood in sensitive places. I know that look. She’s thinking about how it’s going to be — torn sheets followed by jockeying to avoid the wet spot. That’s what I call afterplay.
She turned back to the candy. Shit. I know what he’s thinking. He’ll sweat and drool over me, and then he’ll offer me the candy dish as a reward. She ran her tongue along her upper teeth, her attention now diverted. Gotta call the dentist; I need a cleaning. And a haircut. Just can’t understand why it grows so fast in the back. Maybe a dye job, too. My roots are turning gray. She sighed.
He was becoming excited, just watching her shop. Oh, mah God! She’s doing it again, running her fingers through her hair. A woman always does that when she wants you to notice, like when you see a woman in a car at a stoplight fluffing her hair. Whoopee! He said, “Sweetheart, I’ll be right back. I just remembered I have a Viagra prescription I forgot to fill. Why don’t I pick up a bottle of wine?”
With that, he was around the corner and gone. She shook her head. Lord, help me. I’ll need a lot more chocolate.

© Richard J. Schram 2017

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